I learned a new term from my daughter that is apparently in common use amongst our middle schoolers when she referred to a certain dynamic between two people as a “Situationship”. She mentioned it casually, but it stuck out enough that I felt compelled to stop and ask her what it meant. After all, it’s not every day you get an opportunity to bridge the generation gap.
From what I gathered, a Situationship exists when you share a sense of mutual connection with someone but neither of you says anything about it. She used it to refer to an underlying romantic or friendly attraction of a spontaneous and tentative state that may eventually develop into a relationship. And apparently it can be either fleeting or can go on for a long time, but it requires participation by both sides to exist.
It occurs to me that a Situationship could also describe the sense of connection shared in many of our daily interactions, from the friendly nod to the person driving the same kind of car or bike as you to the person you tend to gravitate towards in a crowded room. And in more prolonged settings, a fond Situationship can evolve between coworkers and neighbors who regularly see each other for months or years without any significant words spoken between them.
I saw elements of these types of Situationships on display at a recent meeting that was put on by the City of Santa Cruz with the help of Community Strong Strategies and KLI Public Finance Solutions to get initial community input on the idea of a Property and Business Improvement District (PBID) for the Eastside/Midtown region of Soquel Ave that connects Morrisey to Pacific Avenue.
The concept of a PBID is to uplift and improve an area by helping clean up and beautify the scenery, adding art installations and signage, activating unused areas and creating events that engage the community to help increase positive activity for the local residents and businesses alike. And when needed, programs can be added for graffiti removal and security patrol in conjunction with Community Hosts as are used downtown to help greet and orient visitors while also acting as an intermediary between businesses and potentially disruptive individuals with the help of the authorities.
The PBID is set up as a 5-year program funded by Assessments that are spread between the property owners in the district on the basis of a variety of factors that can include Lot Size, Built Square Footage, Frontage Linear Footage, or its Use Code and Zoning, and these costs can also be passed down to the business owners as Common Area Operating Expenses under a Triple Net Lease. The services and budget are administered by a non-profit board of stakeholders, and all fees raised through the assessments go directly back into the district. The programs help to supplement, not replace existing government services, and of the over 200 PBIDs in California, including several already in operation in our county, after experiencing the results only a handful have opted not to renew after their initial 5-year period.
The idea is to create a better connection and a better experience for everyone, and in the process, an opportunity for more Situationships to flourish.
What a great segueway and transition that brings forth the nuances of a relationship.
Reminds me of when I was younger and the words "the shits" was not a positive term, and later as society changed it became a term of , "that's cool." Finding " "situationships" is another nuance of relationships that too, is a more defining aspect of the connection of life that engages us.